The Cost of Carrying It All: Why Leaders Must Choose Health Over Heroics

Leadership often gets framed as an act of strength: the ability to withstand pressure, shoulder burdens, and keep moving when others stumble. But here’s the truth no one wants to admit—many of us are dying from it. Not metaphorically. Literally.

Black executives, women in leadership, and leaders from historically minoritized communities are carrying systemic inequities on their backs while navigating organizations that were not built with them in mind. This isn’t just workplace stress. It is a health crisis.

As I write this, another headline crosses my screen about a talented leader gone too soon—heart failure in their 40s, a stroke in their early 50s, complications from unmanaged stress. We are losing brilliant voices not because they lacked capacity but because their capacity was consumed in silence, survival, and systems unwilling to change.

And here’s the cruel irony: the very organizations that benefit from our brilliance rarely invest in the infrastructure of our well-being.

Leadership Without Oxygen

Think about the oxygen mask principle on airplanes. You cannot help the person next to you if you’re gasping for air yourself. Yet, too often, leaders—especially those from marginalized communities—are asked to lead while suffocating.

In my own federal career, I witnessed how culture left scars on the body. Toxic leadership didn’t just demoralize teams; it put people in hospital beds. Myself included. Stress-induced illness, sleepless nights, the quiet erosion of health—it was a silent epidemic.

When I founded ACCESSory Insights, LLC, I built it on a philosophy I call the Oxygen Theory™: culture is not abstract. It is embodied. It affects how leaders sleep, eat, love, and live. Organizational health is not separate from executive health—it is the same system. A toxic culture chokes both.