Right Place, Real Time: How Authentic Presence Opened Career Doors
The Invitation I Didn’t Expect
Yesterday wasn’t supposed to be extraordinary. I was simply co-working, settling into the rhythm of my day with no grand performance planned. No pressed suit. No curated accessories. No carefully scripted elevator pitch prepared. If anything, by conventional standards, I wasn’t “dressed for the occasion.”
But then came the invitation. A career fair. A gathering of opportunity I hadn’t circled on my calendar, hadn’t planned my wardrobe around, hadn’t prepped for in the ways we’re told are non-negotiable. I walked in—not styled to perform professionalism, but present, authentic, and available.
And what unfolded proved something I’ve always believed but needed to see again for myself: respectability is not the gateway to access. Authenticity is.
The Trap of “Appropriate”
We know the script. For Black professionals, for minoritized executives, for those conditioned by the politics of performance, there’s an unspoken but deeply enforced dress code: dress not just for success, but for acceptance. The right suit, the right shoes, the right tones and textures meant to disarm bias before it can surface.
It’s the armor we’ve been told we cannot leave home without. And to be clear, there’s wisdom in strategy. Image matters. But too often, “appropriateness” becomes less about self-expression and more about self-erasure. We shrink parts of who we are, adopt a palette not of our choosing, and mute the vibrancy of our presence just to be deemed acceptable in rooms that benefit from our brilliance but don’t always welcome our fullness.
Yesterday reminded me that sometimes the opposite is true.
Presence Over Performance
I wasn’t dressed to impress. I wasn’t styled to pass a respectability test. And yet, I made contact after contact. Conversations flowed not because my outfit conformed, but because my presence was undeniable.
There’s something disarming about showing up as you are, especially in spaces where performance is expected. People notice when you are at ease. They notice when you aren’t scrambling to control perception, but are instead leaning into connection. That kind of authenticity shifts the tone of the interaction.
What I realized in real time: I wasn’t “underdressed.” I was appropriately human. And in that space, it was enough. More than enough.
The Myth of Right Place, Right Time
Some might call it luck. Right place, right time. And yes, timing matters. But being in the right place at the right time is rarely an accident—it’s often the fruit of consistency. Showing up where you are, not waiting until you’ve assembled a polished performance to participate in life.
If I had waited until I felt “ready,” I would have missed the opportunity. If I had disqualified myself because I wasn’t dressed the part, I would have walked away. But being present made me available to what unfolded. Sometimes the preparation is not in the pressed shirt but in the posture of presence.
Organizational Reflection
There’s also a lesson here for organizations. If opportunities only go to the polished, then companies will continue to overlook the authentic brilliance of those who do not—or cannot—conform to respectability’s script.
Talent isn’t always wearing a blazer. Genius doesn’t always look “appropriate.” If the pipeline is filtered through a narrow lens of image, organizations will consistently lose out on the very innovation and leadership they claim to be searching for.
Yesterday reminded me that opportunity flows when organizations value substance over show.
The Takeaways
For Chiefs of Staff
Stop over-engineering the optics of your leaders’ presence. Your role is to guard their capacity, not force their conformity. Authenticity travels further than the perfect wardrobe when it comes to building meaningful networks.
For Executives
Remember: you are not your outfit. Respectability will never fully disarm bias, so don’t sacrifice your authenticity on its altar. Lead with your presence, not just your performance.
For Employees
Trust that your worth is not diminished because you aren’t dressed like the HR manual’s stock photo. Your value is not in the costume of professionalism, but in the content of your contribution. Don’t wait to be “ready.” Show up. Opportunities often meet us in our unpolished moments.
My Reflection
I walked away from that career fair with more than a stack of contacts. I walked away reminded that I don’t have to perform to belong. That sometimes the best connections are made when the tie is undone, the guard is lowered, and the focus is on conversation, not choreography.
We talk often about strategy, about optics, about being positioned. And all of that matters. But sometimes the only strategy you need is to be present. Sometimes the only positioning you need is to show up where you are, as you are, open to the possibility that the right place and right time might be right now.
The Call
To every Black professional, every woman leader, every minoritized executive who has felt the weight of respectability politics: hear me clearly. You do not need to earn belonging by conforming. You do not need to hide your fullness to gain access.
Opportunities will come when you show up—not when you show off. Yesterday was proof.
And when you are ready to build a career and an organizational environment where authenticity is not penalized but protected, let’s talk. At ACCESSory Insights, LLC, we are building strategies and services that integrate executive and organizational health—because you deserve spaces where you can thrive as yourself, not as a performance.
Reach out at xavier@accessoryinsights.com. Let’s reimagine what leadership looks like when it’s alive, authentic, and unapologetic.